I laughed to myself (and also wrote her) that it's ironic that Twilight is my "legacy" in that forum/on the web... LOL
Next, I thought to myself that now that "Eclipse" is around the corner, probably a few of my former¤t Twilight-related acquaintances would probably have an passing thought of how I would find the film when I decide to see it (since I used to have an opinion about everything... I am opinionated, believe it or not) but some of them won't dare to ask me and some even won't dare to admit they thought about it (cause, you know... my opinion doesn't count now that I am "out") LOL.
But that's not what I wanted to write about today- that's material for the next Twilight detox step.
Today I wanted to write about Twilight as a form of escapism.
Not that I wasn't aware of it before- on the contrary, we used to discuss with some of the females in that particular forum- that all these books and films and series (be it Twilight or the related "True Blood"/vampire series side-discussions, or discussions about fanfictions, alternative universes, etc) are a form of entertainment, relaxation and an escapism for us.
I mean, on the surface of it, it sounds ok...sounds normal, whimsical, fun- like another TV programme we follow for the time being or just a flavour-of-the-month thing we do.
But underneath it all- and the more you get hooked on the fanbase-thing , e.g. reading/writing blogs, making/consuming fanart, talking endlessly with other fans- the more serious it gets. It's nice and cosy on one hand, overwhelming at times but you also find yourself escaping further away from your everyday/regular life. And I am not talking here about neglecting domestic chores (it's a well-known side-effect of being a female Twilight fan) but about the more serious, underlying issues of why we choose to get hooked on "Twilight".
That's right. "Twilight" doesn't happen to you- you choose to dive into it, and you choose how deep. The "Twilight" universe is the more pleasant option than something else from our real life- something that bugs us or keeps waiting to be done, or something we are afraid to do next.
In my encounter with female fans I've seen so many versions of Twilight escapism : there are those who are bored/unhappy with their work and look for some diversity in their daily routine; those who are stuck at home with the kids, so they need to vetn out; those who are inbetween jobs so they want to keep themselves busy with something; those who are down because they are single, or unhappy with their better halves (enter RPattz!)...And these categories can be combined, of course.
The deeper you dig, the more there is to it.
Sometimes you don't even need to dig cause people spill their guts out- like, their dissatisfaction of being treated like sh*t by their husbands; their disappointment that their significant other doesn't appreciate them, doesn't want to marry them, etc. or even their fears their being cheated on; or their regret that they didn't marry The One but instead settled... You name it-you can meet any kind of woman's life story among the Twilight fans- just visit a blog or a forum and read the comments.
At other times the Twilight escapism is more convoluted- the single ladies keep admiring Rob as a way of deflection away from talking/moping about being single - even though they know, and everybody else around knows (but fails to tell them) that a celebrity crush is not the first step towards finding/keeping a boyfriend.
One of the most convoluted versions I've ever seen is when some female fans form or stick to their female circle of Twilight friends, making it their "family" as a way of postponing taking the difficult (and maybe frightening?) decision of making a real family with a waiting/willing boyfriend- and instead choose the carefree "party all the time"-mood, wanting to feel young a bit longer. Kind of SATC, Twilight edition :-)
And then, there is the more complicated, over-analyzing, I-know-what-it-is-but-I-can't-get-myself-to-do-it version of Twilight escapism, like my own. A former Twilight escapism, I may add (proudly) :-) Cause after I went into detox, I actually kicked my own butt and did it.
I finished my dissertation, I submited it and will (hopefully) defend it in the autumn.
Truth be told, it was more complicated than just one thing, and in the one year that I spent in Twiland, I also had small sections of the boring job/unemployed/ovewehelmed-by-motherhood parts at different times (and thankfully none of husband-problems...you know, other than his complaining that I spent too much time on Twilight LOL). But really, my problem was indeed the dissertation- the "unfinished business" that I kept pushing away and would rather spend time Twi-blogging or bonding with the other girls, or- yeah- giving my opinions about Twilight in that forum , on other blogs and even to the occasional newspaper journalist, cause I was that much of an expert on all things Twilight ("Twilight expert" LOL... my legacy, I'm telling you... )- ah, and let's not forget the time dedicated to online arguments and personal conflicts, which now- for the life of me!- I can't understand why must have seemed important then. But yeah... those were the days :-)
I've moved on.
Will keep you posted, stay tuned :-)
P.S. Do you like the Twilight-detox baner in the beginning of the post ? I made it using the font from here
Етикети: Twilight detox